Sunday, October 28, 2012

TEN SIGNS YOUR PASTOR IS A JACK-LEG


TEN SIGNS YOUR PASTOR IS A JACK-LEG

10.  Circle of members in the parking lot before service  on cell phones calling to make sure pastor is coming to service today or if he/she  needs a ride.
9. People taking up a collection for various unheard of ministries and clubs before the service starts.
8. Parking lot is not paved, heat and air don’t work..one porta john for everyone to use and pastor and his wife drive brand new cars.
7. Divinity school degree is from THE ACME SCHOOL and it’s signed Wile E. Coyote
6. Regularly quotes the wrong scripture and ends sermons with “Don’t quote me on it” or “God knows my heart.”
5. Killer band that only knows three songs.
4. Hard to hear the sermon because the people collecting the offering are counting the money while the pastor preaches and are talking on blue tooth headsets..AT THE SAME DAMN TIME.
3. When visitors stand, announcement reader asks “How ya’ll find out about the church…ya aint the police is ya?”
2. Service has to end by a certain time or else the internet sweepstakes cafĂ© can’t open on time.
1.  Has to conduct services from his home via skype to church  because he can’t leave the house on electronic monitoring.