What the obit doesn't say.

Everyone has different life experiences.
That  is so important to remember now that our world is so much smaller and well connected by technology.
I know that bullying is a serious problem in our country.
I feel sorry for any young person that has to deal with being harassed in any way.
People tell me that its worse now with cyber bullying because its constantly on and never ends even when a kid gets off the school bus and goes inside the house.
I never felt like I was bullied.
However... I was picked on by the best!

I had it coming....I was small...mouthy and my dad bought me the glasses David Ruffin from the Temptations
made famous.......
The problem was it was 1983.
These glasses were so old timey that most kids couldn't stop laughing when they saw me
I'm not exaggerating..here's a look.

I asked my dad about these glasses, and here's what he had to say...

My parents always said that I shouldn't get upset and that if people don't like you the way you are then it's there problem and not yours.

It was so bad when I stepped on the  bus, the prettiest, tallest, finest  high school girl remarked LOUDLY "Boy you better have a big ol' boner or a lot of money or your little ass is gonna be woman less your entire life with those glasses".

Well I still don't have any money... but two marriages and three kids later...I digress...
That year the  middle school  and high school  had to share a bus route.
The high school kids were not happy at all with this and made the  middle school kids stand up ALL THE WAY TO SCHOOL and ALL THE WAY HOME.
While the ride wasn't long..standing up on a moving bus sucked.
The guys at the back of the bus were older, much older
They were mean and funny.
 I don't even know if they went to school or just rode the bus for the hell of it.
I enjoyed seeing the neighborhood kids who gave me hell getting  picked on
by  this crowd.
 I knew that instant I had to go to  Enloe High.
That's when I met one of the naturally coolest and funniest people in my childhood.
Jimmy.
Don't get me wrong...he was as cruel and cold to me and as rude as all the other kids on the bus.
But he was so funny..with HIS high pitched voice and the cool attitude.
Some folks have to try and be cool very few people are just naturally cool.
So Jimmy yells out.."Anybody got a radio at home..a boom box?
Boom boxes were the thing.
Luckily..I was an only child..spoiled as hell...and had a big one...boom box too.
I played it cool...didn't tip my hand..and I stayed up late taping the best mixes on WKNC's hip hop show on the magic 88 featuring future bad ass dj's wax master torrey...wink moody and so many more future radio legends.
But the next morning I got on the bus with my tape..and my BOX as the older Enloe kids bid on me like a slave at auction.."Sit here little boy with the glasses..looking like the little professor calculator by Texas instruments......sit here..please sit here."

I not only got a seat, I got a seat in the back with the older tough guys.
Jimmy turned to me and said..."Well played young man".
These were the early days of hip hop...I was able to play the art of noise "Beat Box" and RUN-DMC'S "Sucker MC's". I will never ever forget how that song amazed and mesmerized the guys and girls on the bus.
One of the best three plus minutes of music ever made.
I even played some Debarge "TIME WILL REVEAL'"
I was in. It was my moment to ruin...and it didn't take long for me to do that...because batteries for those boxes cost money.
So the first time I showed up with no radio I was just another smoe.
"YOU AINT BRING THE BOX...STAND YO ASS UP"
Almost 20 Years later I ran into Jimmy who said...."man the neighborhood is proud of you..you're on radio and tv..."
I think I told him how I learned to how to have the courage to crack jokes on people and how cool it was to see him doing well, but I don't recall.
As pessimistic a person as I am, I do remember telling him that he taught me what funny really was in our community live and in person.
And he was still funny, busting on his coworkers in that cool snarky way
I  could tell they respected him and that he cared about them and was trying to teach them, grow them to be as sharp a man as he was.
So when I saw a post on a social media site a few months ago  about his death I was so sad.
Sad to see the life of a person with so much character and love for others reduced to a few lines in a news story.
I never met his wife or his kids, but I knew from our conversations that he put those he loved above all else and that he had a serious work ethic, and hated a lazy ass person.
So this is my way of remembering Jimmy and saying thank you.
I know people talk about the dash between birth and death date..but this is about more than that.
In this day and age of instant communication, comes the option of instant disrespect.
People need to take the time to think before they post.
RIP Jimmy and thanks.

Larry Graham should play the inauguration in January

I blew it.
If  only I'd known about the White House petition process, I would have really wnet to work to have Larry Graham play for the presidential inauguration.
I've been thinking about  music that brings people together...
There are only a few artists left on my must see live list..George Benson, Stevie Wonder and this guy....
From his time with Sly and the Family Stone to his own  band Graham Central Station..a successful  solo career and with his continued touring today, I have always enjoyed the bass and the voice.
Here's a look at my Graham greatest hits... and why I love each song...Here's a link to my YouTube play list additional link below as well.
THE JAM--Version with bass great Marcus Miller.
THE JAM ORIGINAL ALBUM --The way each member of the band solo's and introduces themselves..feels like I am at the show every time I listen.C-H-O-C-L-E-T on the FUNKBOX. That's how he spells it and I love her. WOW.
MY RADIO SURE SOUNDS GOOD TO ME---The doo-wop sound fit this a perfect tribute to radio.
HAIR--Great song that spoke to social change during challenging times.
RELEASE YOURSELF--Enjoy the SOUL TRAIN interview..awesome
WE'VE BEEN WAITING--Acapella at that...good grief.
WATER---That bass line..those horns..what more does a song need?
ONE IN A MILLION YOU---Thought I was a 5th grade romeo calling girls and attempting to sing this...beautiful song.
JUST BE MY LADY---Lyrics and the voice
WHEN WE GET MARRIED---I remember my parents being amazed that I appreciated this song at ten years old.

Larry Graham and Graham Central Station playlist

Blade's World: The Writing Isn’t The Hard Part

One of my favorite people has a book..and book signing events..check him out as he shares his experience..
love the title..Nothing louder than dead air.
Blade's World: The Writing Isn’t The Hard Part

Obama Romney mock interview

One of my favorite radio jocks growing up in the 70's would put together clips and all sorts of montages for his show. This was back in the day when people did show preperation before they went on the air.

So here's my tribute..combining comedy music and editing, pleae spread the video around,  help me make it viral before Tuesday.

TEN SIGNS YOUR PASTOR IS A JACK-LEG

TEN SIGNS YOUR PASTOR IS A JACK-LEG

10.  Circle of members in the parking lot before service  on cell phones calling to make sure pastor is coming to service today or if he/she  needs a ride.

9. People taking up a collection for various unheard of ministries and clubs before the service starts.

8. Parking lot is not paved, heat and air don’t work..one porta john for everyone to use and pastor and his wife drive brand new cars.

7. Divinity school degree is from THE ACME SCHOOL and it’s signed Wile E. Coyote

6. Regularly quotes the wrong scripture and ends sermons with “Don’t quote me on it” or “God knows my heart.”

5. Killer band that only knows three songs.

4. Hard to hear the sermon because the people collecting the offering are counting the money while the pastor preaches and are talking on blue tooth headsets..AT THE SAME DAMN TIME.

3. When visitors stand, announcement reader asks “How ya’ll find out about the church…ya aint the police is ya?”

2. Service has to end by a certain time or else the internet sweepstakes café can’t open on time.

1.  Has to conduct services from his home via skype to church  because he can’t leave the house on electronic monitoring.

Prince Harry's got nothing to lose

Prince Harry is  in Afghanistan to serve his country.
He's spent the past few months in Helmand Province.
This isn't his first deployment.
As a matter of fact...

Harry has spent the past three years changing the direction of his military career from an armoured reconnaissance troop leader to an Army helicopter pilot in order to be stationed  back in Afghanistan.
So.
I wonder if his recent caught on camera craziness in Las Vegas...(which by the way happened in Vegas and didn't stay in Vegas) was his way of blowing off steam, ya know...letting it all hang out..(literally..BUCK NAKED)  before heading away to war.

Harry was last on the front line in 2008 while but top brass cut his tour of duty short after a media blackout covering his deployment was broken.

I also read that he's flying Apache helicopters.

Harry’s return to front line duty comes after 18 months of intense  training, both in the UK and the US, after which he won a prize as the best Apache co-pilot gunner when he qualified in February.

Which is cool, I just wonder if the media should expose so much information and instantly make all Apache helicopters even bigger targets of enemy fire.

I salute his training and ability and dedication to serve his country.

On the other side, sometimes I view him as a spoiled, bored, wealthy, wealthy,stinking  filthy  rich, coked out party boy who likes to kill things.

Things like people.

I think back to him wearing the Nazi costume  at a party a few years ago.

He's third in line to the throne..chances are he'll never be King.

He doesn't have much to do.

He has nothing to lose.

Here's hoping he can stay safe and keep his fellow soldiers out of harm's way as well.

Special thanks to DAVID WILLETTS and HARRY HAWKINS of The Sun.

The A.S.S Initiative

Let me start by saying this idea in no way  involves chicks from Magic City or any other "gentleman's club".

Sorry.

This post  is a comedian's serious  advice to people. It's about Avoiding Stupid Situations.

I was going to use a four letter word that sounds like SPIT in place of situations, but who know this thing could take off!

I don't want Oprah and David Letterman to have moral issues when it's time to book me for an interview.

So, let's lay it out simple and plain right now because I see so many young men making the same mistakes.

Don't ever be afraid to say no.
Don't worry about people not thinking you're cool.
You'll be much cooler  outside of jail mackin' to the pretty girls then you will be trying to stave off the romantic advances of a cellmate named BOOTY WARRIOR.

Which takes us to this scenario...
If someone wants you to hold/hide their gun, their dope, their money, a purloined bag of potato chips or anything JUST SAY NO.

I can promise you that much dealing with police and the court system can be avoided if you just don't  take up time with people who look to put you or most importantly your freedom in danger.

So .. Let's say you agree to hide or hold whatever it is for said person.

Because you want them to think you're cool.

Then when you get stopped or have a legitimate emergency and the police discover whatever it is in your residence..in your car or on your person, saying "it's not mine" doesn't really hold up well to the police.

"Well it was in your pocket/glove compartment/between your butt crack".

Of course you'll be faced with the dilemma..tell on this person or claim that the stuff is mine and go to jail..go to court..because I'm not a snitch.

What do you think is going to happen when they call and ask the  person who you were holding said items for their side of the story?

"My bad officer, go ahead and let him go, that's MY stuff, I'll run downstairs right now and you can lock ME up..go ahead and let him go...it's mine."

That doesn't happen. Not even on movies on ABC Family Channel.

So, please guys, don't be concerned with street cred or being liked by the hustler who appears to have it all.

Real hustlers ring the bell to start  trading on The NASDAQ and not from front porches.
Real hustlers don't constantly have to tell you how much money they have, it's in  a bank or in an offshore account.
Real hustlers don't sweat the hustle, because their money is so incredibly long and strong  even their unborn great grandchildren are set for life.
It's called generational wealth.

So, do your best to AVOID STUPID SITUATIONS.
Sometimes these decisions will be tough.
They might even involve really pretty girls who think they are hustlers.
That pressure can be tough.
But again, avoid stupid situations that put your freedom, your reputation, your credit score at risk.
*The sky is the limit as far as achievement in any field as long as you work hard, have all your boxes checked for requirements and don't have anything STUPID lingering that the next one thousand applicants don't have.

On my next blog we'll focus on the ladies and how the A.S.S Initiative can change your life.



(* Read this part really fast like the last 10 seconds of A  car commercial. It's not a perfect world, remember it doesn't hurt to know people, have straight teeth, good breath and a nice booty.)

Blue Moon Beer

So I’m killing time at the Harris Teeter Cameron Village in the vast beer and wine section when I stumble across a Blue Moon label I wasn’t familiar with.

It took me back to my first encounter with an ice cold Blue Moon with an orange slice.

Talk about love at first sip!

So the artful geniuses at Blue Moon Brewing created this Vintage Blond Ale.

It’s a  delicious combination of beer and wine.

It  uses juice from  chardonnay grapes, Mittelfruh  hops and white wheat .

I’ll never forget when my good friend Robert Flanagan, his beautiful wife Tavie and their awesome kids had us over for a party.

Robert pointed to the bucket and said with that one eyebrow cool that states between friends “No joke”..’you’re hip to the Blue Moon right”?

He damn near put the party on hold to get me an orange slice.

This was late 90’s early 2000…when the craft brewing world was just cranking up with serious force.

That revolution is still growing strong.

Since then, the way I measure a watering hole is…”Do you have Blue Moon?”

Tell me about your Blue Moon or craft beer experience, like my blog and spread it around.

When is it ok to burn a bridge?

Anyone who knows me is well aware that I don't sugar coat things.
I never had the ability to beat around the bush or dumb things down.
It's truly not a skill I grew into as an adult.
I've always believed that people are responsible for their own emotional and spiritual well being.
So, I think if you have a bad vibe about someone and their intentions for your spiritual or emotional well being, it's OK to give them the Heisman and keep on trucking like Eddie Kendricks.

Now when I burn a bridge, I make sure I do it with gasoline.
If I  can't trust you then I don't want you around me.
It's that simple.
Put yourself first.
Don't be discouraged if people call you stuck up or eccentric or hard to get along with.
Imagine your life if you did everything people wanted YOU to do without ever thinking of your own wants...needs or dreams.
I truly believe in myself.
The greatest love of all is the love of self.
I think if more people started with that, the world would be a much better place.

Tribute poem for Gil Scott Heron

 I wrote this poem last year  after learning of the death of Gil Scot Heron.

I always admired his sense of humor and delivery.
I call it...

Gil In Heaven

I made it.
Here I am.
After Small talk at 125th and Lennox and playing on stages all over the world
I made my transition.
Watch out! I’m in heaven ya’ll!
On earth I ....I talked  about politics and lunatics
And tried to make the people think
They called me the godfather of rap and I said
"Don’t put that one on me."
Cause you know I loved the rappers and all they had to say...
I just used my voice to set a tone..and called it "bluesology" all the way.
I hope you’ll agree the road was hard
And filled with twists and turns.
I want to thank you for listening to my voice as I went from thoughts to words..to poems.
I’m not worried about my legacy or how I’ll be portrayed.
Just know I was here and I had a lot to say.
So it’s the pearly gates and all that mess st peter here I am!
You’ll all be surprised as me to find that God ...ain’t a man.
I knew it! I knew it! I knew it all the time.
I just didn’t think I’d look on the face of mother nature and think she was so damn  fine.
Feelin  the warmth of love on me as the master of all time…shines her light on me ..wraps her arms around me and says
Your trip was long and don’t worry bout no  sins
Take off your coat and your hat honey..GIL…
Just Come on in.

Jon Champion

People say the dumbest things!

I wish I was R. Lee Ermey for five minutes today.
This morning, I'm minding my own business walking out to get the newspaper when I'm greeted by a neighbor.
He always prides himself on leaving his utility  shed unlocked and telling people to borrow what they want at will.
I call him Ned Flanders.

So he asks me if i took his leaf blower and failed to return it.
"I'm not accusing you or anything.."
There is nothing worse you can call a man who goes to work everyday than a thief.
I replied "Well I wouldn't have any need for a leaf blower..
seeing as how i don't have any trees..with leaves..or anything that needs a leaf blower."
He went on to explain to me for the 20th time that he never locks the ugly shed he built by hand because he did something when he built it  and the door won't shut right.
Mind you he's a carpenter..a crappy one.
In the ten years I've lived next door to him, he has never been able to build a latch or bail to secure his property.
So he uses his claim of neighborliness to cover the fact that he can't fix this mess of a tee pee/lean- to that he managed to slap a roof on without killing himself.
I come home from work many a day and see the wind slamming the door open and closed all the time.
Then in the next breath he asks to borrow my weed trimmer.
I let him. 
Then asked me,
"When I'm done you want me to just leave it laying up against the house...?"
I said.."no...knock on my door and let me know you returned it...SO I CAN LOCK IT BACK UP."
Part of me wants to go out and  buy him a lock and a chain.
Personal responsibility is out the window.
I miss being in the military and being around people that had common sense.
I feel good about my growth and maturity as a person.
There was a time when I would have went full RICHARD PRYOR on a joker for even approaching me with something so stupid.
Here's one of my favorite scenes from FULL METAL JACKET
that says it best.

Fast ferry ride to Cape Lookout

My wife and I recently took a ferry to Cape Lookout from Harkers Island.
The ferry company was great, I highly recommend these folks.
It's called Local Yokel Ferry and Tours.
Check out the video to see the really fast ride, people holding onto
hats..glasses..hairbows  and some other great surprises on the way to the Cape.

Funny mugshots

Apologies in advance if these pictures are your cousins mothers brothers loved ones etc.
They say a picture is worth a thousand words...
but these pictures and the charges still needed my comic touch.
This is in no way saying those charged are guilty..of being anything other than fun to pick on.

First up is this girl..smiling like it's time for a prom pic.
she is charged with Resisting public officer, Malicious conduct by prisoner, Intoxicated and disruptive.
That sounds like it was a fun night.

I also love the facial expressions that could be saying.."I'm so surprised I got caught"

Embezzlement.

Or the classic "whatever man" face.

 Misdemeanor larceny, Common law robbery.

I love this one too..the classic "ya got me dang" sideways grin.

Att obtain prop false pretense, Simple assault, Misdemeanor larceny.

This lady gets the "Let me put my makeup on before this mugshot cause they ain't gonna have me on the web looking crazy girl" award.

Obtain property false pretense

I don't know what to say about this one...I think the charge says it all...

Charge:

Dangerous drugs

If you like this post please sign up to follow my blog, spread my blog around...share it with your friends..co workers..cousins..fellow inmates.

Pet parakeet returned to Japanese owner after telling police his address - New York News | New York Breaking News | NYC Headlines

I think this story is pretty cool.
I'd love to hear a parrot speaking an address in fluent japanese.

Jon in movie scene

This is clean..even the language!

I had a great time working on this project.

I got to channel my favorite Uncle The one and only late great Charlie Robertson and several other family members who were notorious for speaking their minds in close family situations that while were often not their business..concerned them greatly.

My Uncle Charlie would have handled this situation much the same was as Uncle Sonny.

Enjoy the clip, subscribe to the blog..buy the film  and spread it around.

Jon Champion as Uncle Sonny Edwards in the Dr. Love Theater Group and MoeMedia Production of  “Everything’s Copestedic Volume 2”. This scene features Dennard Young as Bobby Edwards, Torrey Lawrence as Rusty Gaines and Jon as Uncle Sonny.  Written and Directed by Brian Davis, Video Production by Maurice Johnson. This film is available for purchase at the secure website http://playmerchandise.com/shop/   Under the DVD heading, click BRIAN DAVIS.

MONEY VS FUNNY!

I first wrote this blog post in February of 2011
It's been  years and not only have I not heard back from Floyd's people, he continues to do really crazy things.
Now he's set to fight Robert Guerreo in May.
It's like MR. T Said in ROCKY III...ducking me...fighting other bums...

He reportedly bet three million dollars on  Michigan to beat Alabama in  2011.
Man, I could have really used that money.
If you're going to throw cash away, throw it away to me, MY STUDENT LOANS AND CHILD SUPPORT.

I was reading a news piece about the New York Knicks basketball sensation Jeremy Lin.
Professional boxer Floyd Mayweather, one of my favorite pugilists and without a doubt one of the best around said the only reason Lin was getting all this recent attention is because he's Asian.
Here's the comment.
It made me pretty angry.
Not because I'm Asian.
But because I hate it when someone who busts their ass to make it gets hated on for their work.
I love sports but I am pretty tired of hearing about athletes who think the world owes them something..or they are entitled to act like ass clowns just because.
I hope Lin's success encourages more competition and less showboating and that he continues to play and prosper.
Now..on to Floyd.
I'd like to fight  Money.
It would make me feel much better to hit him in his mouth for some of the dumb things he says.
Now,Truthfully,  I did enjoy him cussing Larry Merchant's cranky ass.
That was long overdue.
I am quite nonathletic..I am the polar opposite of athletic.
I'm not New Jersey Governor Chris Christie big..(he's my next challenge..we could  have a subway sandwich eating contest) but I am not in the best shape.
I've  got a word of warning for MONEY.
When I was in the Navy I spent some time in the Philippines.
A ghetto or a hood in America has nothing on a poor area in the PI.
Those folks are tough.
I saw many a manly  man get their asses STRAIGHT UP beaten by smaller thinner some would say scrawny guys.
Money May  has heart too.
But I still don't think he can take Pacquiao.
So I'm making you an offer Money.
I have no boxing experience..I got in one fight in middle school..I think I won.
But my family could use the money.
At some point I am going to have to help put three of the most beautiful and intelligent children on Earth through college.

You can help me by letting  me earn a REALLY  big payday.
The kids get all the money..they can't have it till they graduate high school and enroll in an Ivy League University.
You're not doing anything else with that money Money ..let's get ready to rumble.

Family history

I'm not sure what to call this blog post.
I'll start by saying many people don't understand when I tell them that I was raised by a woman who was born the same year Coca Cola was first sold in bottles.
Grandma shares a birth year with Moms Mabley and Martha Graham.
1894.
My grandmother Ida was a tiny woman with a great big laugh.
I remember her for so many things.
I often wonder what she would think of today's politics..especially having a black president.
I can imagine her voice saying over and over "lord keep that boy safe".
I do remember that she DID NOT like The Muppets.
She would ask me.."Why don't they have feet?" When I explained that they were puppets..she would say..without fail.."sounds like some foolishness to me"
This is a picture from the 70's..a road trip to Virgina to visit some much loved cousins.
I am making the crazy face because I am standing next to grandma's spit cup..I was trying to be so cool..way off the mark. Grandma is on the far left.

I am sure she would amazed at the world today, cell phones especially.
I can imagine her asking.."well where is the cord to the phone?"
After my reply she would most certainly reply.."sounds like some foolishness to me".

These pictures are from a recent trip my father and my cousin/sister..cause we're close like that.. took to visit the church my grandparents..their parents and my parents attended.
We also set out to put flowers on their graves.
It was odd to imagine returning to the places where my ancestors walked and farmed the land in a Benz.
People loved my grandparents and the land they once owned is still referred to as The Champion Farm.
My dad is truly a life line to that part of my history.
I asked him about growing up in the 1930's and if people were mean to them in their community.
He recalls farming with other white families and never being disrespected or made to feel threatened.
I recall my grandmother and my dad driving down to the country to visit old friends black and white when I was a young child. I got a first hand look at some beautiful friendships.

My grandfather John died nearly eight months after I was born in 1971. I don't remember him, but I love the stories that my family members have shared with me.
It's a little odd when I look at his head stone and see my name..or most of it.

His parents favorite president was McKinley.
Not sure why they didn't include the full name on his headstone. Saving money I suppose.
During the ride , my dad and my cousin made sure to show me how far they walked to church from home.
We didn't visit the farm this time.
On a visit a few years ago, the people who lived nearby greeted us, told fond stories of my grandparents, and their children. It was truly a trip back in time.

This is the final resting place for my great Aunt Annie.
She was my grandmother Ida's sister and passed away several years before I was born.

The true family historian was our cousin Percy Jones.
He was an awesome man, extremely intelligent and very kind.
I remember as a child his dedication to keeping the church cemetery maintained for Chalk Level CME church.
He was a veteran--click here to see a beautiful video tribute and very devoted to his family and passing down family history.
He and his darling wife Rosie were married for many years and passed away within months of each other.

These are the resting places of more members of the church.

The Prince family was another large family in the church.
My parents and grandparent and aunts and uncles grew up with them and thought very highly of them.
Hustler,Hardy Lois and Grace Prince were really outgoing and interesting people.

I learned so much from my grandmother and will never forget her teaching me to read from the biggest bible ever made.
See spot run had nothing on learning to pronounce Deuteronomy and philistine before pre school.
The coolest thing about the trip is remembering riding down to the church every Sunday in the 70's with my dad and grandma, in a car that only had an AM radio.
American Top 40 with Casey Kasem was always on.
Explains my total love for AM GOLD formatted music.
My cousin Angie and I singing our faces off and often making up lyrics.
My family rocks.