People say the dumbest things!

I wish I was R. Lee Ermey for five minutes today.
This morning, I'm minding my own business walking out to get the newspaper when I'm greeted by a neighbor.
He always prides himself on leaving his utility  shed unlocked and telling people to borrow what they want at will.
I call him Ned Flanders.

So he asks me if i took his leaf blower and failed to return it.
"I'm not accusing you or anything.."
There is nothing worse you can call a man who goes to work everyday than a thief.
I replied "Well I wouldn't have any need for a leaf blower..
seeing as how i don't have any trees..with leaves..or anything that needs a leaf blower."
He went on to explain to me for the 20th time that he never locks the ugly shed he built by hand because he did something when he built it  and the door won't shut right.
Mind you he's a carpenter..a crappy one.
In the ten years I've lived next door to him, he has never been able to build a latch or bail to secure his property.
So he uses his claim of neighborliness to cover the fact that he can't fix this mess of a tee pee/lean- to that he managed to slap a roof on without killing himself.
I come home from work many a day and see the wind slamming the door open and closed all the time.
Then in the next breath he asks to borrow my weed trimmer.
I let him. 
Then asked me,
"When I'm done you want me to just leave it laying up against the house...?"
I said.."no...knock on my door and let me know you returned it...SO I CAN LOCK IT BACK UP."
Part of me wants to go out and  buy him a lock and a chain.
Personal responsibility is out the window.
I miss being in the military and being around people that had common sense.
I feel good about my growth and maturity as a person.
There was a time when I would have went full RICHARD PRYOR on a joker for even approaching me with something so stupid.
Here's one of my favorite scenes from FULL METAL JACKET
that says it best.