In this age of instant information, I would confuse the pure mess out of a paparazzi photographer.
I can imagine the story on TMZ or Entertainment Tonight sounding like this...
"We followed comedian/actor/producer Jon Champion all day long..that fool bought a cheeseburger, took his dad a fish plate from Jack's Seafood and went home Much to our chagrin... no cocaine was purchased and no hoochie mamas were slapped."
I'd be the most boring celeb ever compared to Lindsay Lohan, and Chris Brown.
I'd show up on sets early because I'd appreciate the blessing it is to have a career you love.
I'd constantly work on my craft and the only time you'd hear about me doing anything was when it was time for my next project to be released.
Nothing sexy about me...not beating my wife because I love and respect her too much for that kind of foolishness.
Plus she's a few feet taller than my tiny fat ass and would whomp me on the top of my head one good time and be done.
I read this article about Chris Brown telling a crowded nightclub his take on how men should talk to their women.
I disagree because I've got a few years on Chris and I've seen his method doesn't seem to work.
Maybe he needs to make sure he's pleasing Rihanna so that she's telling him it's HIS.
It seems that he's not listening to her..she seems to be saying..well..when it's not yours, it's DRAKE'S.
I'm just saying.
Follow me on Twitter @champcomedyblog
I act write and perform original stand up and produce television news.
