The A.S.S Initiative

Let me start by saying this idea in no way  involves chicks from Magic City or any other "gentleman's club".

Sorry.

This post  is a comedian's serious  advice to people. It's about Avoiding Stupid Situations.

I was going to use a four letter word that sounds like SPIT in place of situations, but who know this thing could take off!

I don't want Oprah and David Letterman to have moral issues when it's time to book me for an interview.

So, let's lay it out simple and plain right now because I see so many young men making the same mistakes.

Don't ever be afraid to say no.
Don't worry about people not thinking you're cool.
You'll be much cooler  outside of jail mackin' to the pretty girls then you will be trying to stave off the romantic advances of a cellmate named BOOTY WARRIOR.

Which takes us to this scenario...
If someone wants you to hold/hide their gun, their dope, their money, a purloined bag of potato chips or anything JUST SAY NO.

I can promise you that much dealing with police and the court system can be avoided if you just don't  take up time with people who look to put you or most importantly your freedom in danger.

So .. Let's say you agree to hide or hold whatever it is for said person.

Because you want them to think you're cool.

Then when you get stopped or have a legitimate emergency and the police discover whatever it is in your residence..in your car or on your person, saying "it's not mine" doesn't really hold up well to the police.

"Well it was in your pocket/glove compartment/between your butt crack".

Of course you'll be faced with the dilemma..tell on this person or claim that the stuff is mine and go to jail..go to court..because I'm not a snitch.

What do you think is going to happen when they call and ask the  person who you were holding said items for their side of the story?

"My bad officer, go ahead and let him go, that's MY stuff, I'll run downstairs right now and you can lock ME up..go ahead and let him go...it's mine."

That doesn't happen. Not even on movies on ABC Family Channel.

So, please guys, don't be concerned with street cred or being liked by the hustler who appears to have it all.

Real hustlers ring the bell to start  trading on The NASDAQ and not from front porches.
Real hustlers don't constantly have to tell you how much money they have, it's in  a bank or in an offshore account.
Real hustlers don't sweat the hustle, because their money is so incredibly long and strong  even their unborn great grandchildren are set for life.
It's called generational wealth.

So, do your best to AVOID STUPID SITUATIONS.
Sometimes these decisions will be tough.
They might even involve really pretty girls who think they are hustlers.
That pressure can be tough.
But again, avoid stupid situations that put your freedom, your reputation, your credit score at risk.
*The sky is the limit as far as achievement in any field as long as you work hard, have all your boxes checked for requirements and don't have anything STUPID lingering that the next one thousand applicants don't have.

On my next blog we'll focus on the ladies and how the A.S.S Initiative can change your life.



(* Read this part really fast like the last 10 seconds of A  car commercial. It's not a perfect world, remember it doesn't hurt to know people, have straight teeth, good breath and a nice booty.)